How can I live without him???

I had left him about 5 months. It was so difficult to express my feeling though him. I was so lovely and cute. Looking to him, I can put away all of my sadness. Although he was far away from me now, but I do look on his pictures so frequent. I hope he do miss me too. I met him bout 3 years back. I love him so much. He had an innocent look. When I look to him, I felt so happy and "heng fuk" But , I had apart with him since 5 months ago. I was so sad when the moment I left him.
But anyhow, I am going back to meet him on this coming Friday. WOW!!! I was so excited. It was fantastic. At last, I can meet him up. I really miss him so much. I had bought a lot of stuff for him. Hopefully he really like it. I am going back to my hometown soon. Feel so excited to meet my family member and him as well. Anyway, I really hope the time can come faster, so that I can meet him up fast. Actually he is one of my family member too. He is my beloved dog, name BEBE!!! I LUVE U 4EVA!!!

Life without regrets

Two years back , I get to know a friend of my boyfriend name AAA. AAA was a healthy man and he had a good career. Due to some misunderstand incident, I found out AAA criticis me in front of Vincent. I was so angry and hate him too on that moment. Anyhow, is actually due to some misunderstanding that turn him to criticis me. But after that incident, I had not saw him before. Last year , I heard from Vincent that AAA had LIVER CANCER!!! OMG!!! It was the last stage of the LIVER CANCER. He was just about late twenties, but unfortunately he got this kind of illness. When the time I heard that, I felt that pity too. He had a good achivement on his career and so young. Few days back, when me and Vincent were sleeping at midnight, suddenly his mobile rang. He pick it up. AAA called him. He can heard that AAA was struggling for his pain. He was yelling "I am damn pain" for few minutes, but we can't do anything. After that, the line cut off. I feel that it must be damn pain because as a man, suppose he can take it easily for minor pain. I really can't continue my sleep. I felt that it was a waste for such a young and energetic guy. Although he do criticis me before this, but I really hope he can recovered from his illness soon. He will be having an operation on tommorow due to the spreading of the cancer to other part of the body. I really hope he can recovered soon and become a healthy man.
From that night onwards, I can feel that if someone that having any illness, he will become so lost and torture. I swear if any of my beloved person (touch wood) are ill, I will take care of it and do what I can to let him or her know that I really do love her or him. From here, I started to learn that had to appriciate each person that around me , so that I will not regret in my entired life without loving him.

Today (31 mac 08).........

I feel that I had lost my intention to talk to neither my collegues nor superior. Suddenly I feel that actually all of them have their own "interest". A lot of people around here were too cunning. They approach you actually to get some benefit from you only. It was so tired for me to communicate with those people. I know every working environment also definately will have this type of person, but I feel people here rather selfish than Malaysian. haha..... maybe you will think that I am too chidish on these matter but I really can't take it on this type of people. I am the type that can't approach a person simple unless I know her or him was an easy going person. I feel that I like to keep myself away from majority. Am I having any problem??? haha..... Hopefully not.

I really miss my hometown's friends. I hope I was there now. My working environment definately did not have any flexiblity or caring. I can notice that from few incident that I gone thru myself. Really so headache here. I am planning to leave soon, but where I can go??? I need a place that I can stayed. I hope I can earn more money before I went back to Malaysia. Most of my friend achieve well in their career wise. I am the only backwards person only. I left far behind from them. I want to at least achieve something before I went back. Can I???????

MACAU VS MALAYSIA

I had been working here for few months. A lot of thing had happenned here, especially my career. Working environment here was not healthy at all. The hierachy wise was so messy and "they" do differenciate well proper from Manager level to normal staff level. "Someone" do think that as a manager or duty manager level are damn high. They do not even interact with their staff. They do think that their as high as a sky and we are as low as a hell. "She" will not dirrectly communicate with us rather than asking a third party to approach us. "Come on, man" We work in a same department, we need to communicate. One way communication is not working in this era. The stupid human should awake and educate some of her duty manager as well!!!

Due to office environment was not suits me so well, I had thought to left this job. I am still wondering if I am going to stay here or going back to Malaysia for my career??? Sometimes I feel that I can earn more here, but the other side I had thought that I will left my parents after few years later when I had married, so I need sometimes to accompany them. I feel if I still stay apart from them now, I had not much time that can spend with them later in the future. I do care and love my parents so much. If let say, 2 years later I got married and will be staying in Hong Kong, then how can I still taking care of my parents. I am so confuse and full of contradiction now. Who else can help me??? Anyone who go thru my blog, do left me some comments.......

My exciting holiday!!!

I have been working in Macau bout 4 months, but I did not have a long offday as I could not take my annual leave due to have to left it for other vacation. Around the corner to Good Friday on Mac, I got bout 4 off day. I had went to HK to meet him. He was having his 2 day off. We had a great time on these few days. I can't believed that I had watch for 5 movies on these few days. it was amazing. The movie that I had watched were Shamo, L for Lies, One Miss Call, P/S : I Love You and An Empress and the Warriors. Wow!!! It was amazing. I really can't believed it. Maybe someone will think taht I am crazy on this, but frankly speaking, I really enjoy watching movie although alone too
But anyhow, I had my most embarassing moment!!! It happen in a very fresh morning, when I am walking to take a bus. As I came closer to the bust stand, I saw the bus had stopped there. I quickly run to the bus, but while I am running, I noticed that a man was watching me. I was so curious by thinking " What are you starring at?Shit!!!" But as I step on the bus trying to slot in the coins, Vincent turn back to me. SHIT!!! My button was opened. I saw my boobs and bra as well. On that moment, I feel like want to get a hole for myself to crawl in. I realised why is the man is starring to me just now. HAHAHA!!! I really do not know why my shirts are unbuttoned. I swear that I won't wear the shirts anymore.
I had spent few days in HK. I was so happy cos I had bought a lot of thing that I want. I hope I had even more longer holiday in HK in the future rather staying in the BORING CITY - MACAU. But PLS!!! DON'T HAPPEN ANYTHING THAT MAKE ME EMBRASSING!!!

My love one

I had know him since 2 1/2 years back. We had gone thru a lot of things together. Most of the special date we unable to spend together such as Valentine day, birthday and anniversary. This is due to our long distance relationship. Vincent is my man that had been know from internet. At first, I did not have any special feeling on him. I just treat him as a normal net friend. We just had a normal chat each time we online. Sometimes I feel it was a bit bored when we chat to each other. I can't denny that he is a so good to me. I will tell him whatever problem that I encounter especially with my ex bf. He is willing to hear me. Due to something that I am trying to work out, so I seldom online for bout 1 month. He started to e mail and send me message to know why I did not online. He told me that he miss me when I can't online. I feel it was strange because I feel something had happen. Actually I also feel so warm that what he had message and e mail me. hehehe.......Later on, when I got back to online, he had confess his feeling to me. I feel it was impossible because we are so far away from each other.
I admitted that donno since when I do had some special feeling thru him too. I did not think that much and I had started our long distance relationship. before that, i had break up with my ex bf (Ah Veng). Since our relation had started, we had our phone conversation every night. We really commited on this relationship as we know that we definatly want to appriciate each other. We know that we will be much more difficult in this long distance relationship so both of us try to maintain it. All of you maybe will think that how can we fall in love to a person that we can't even saw his outlook before.
When we had known each other actually we had send our pic. Maybe a lot of people are not agree on this type of relationship, but we are trying to working on it. As times go by, we develop our love like normal people also. He had came to Malaysia 3 months later to meet me up. We do appriciate each moment when we meet together. It was a short vacation for us to stay together. But anyhow, we still love each other so much. As a normal couple we do have our hard moment such as arguing due to some minor thing. A lot of things ahppen on us, but anyhow we still maintain until now. We can see each other so frequent now due to I am working in Macau now. I am wondering until when we have to be apart????? Anyhow, I do love him a lot. He had tought me a lot of things... he was a great person

Macau's life

BORED!BORED!BORED!BORED!BORED! Working in Macau really torture me. Without any entertainment, family and friends here. Whenever I went back to my home, I was so lonely. This is the moment that make me feel that my family member is the best. I really hope they are with me now. But I knwo it will not happen. I miss my mom's mumbling. Without her, I feel lacked of somethings. I miss my dogs- Bebe...
These feeling arose within the first month when I step to Macau. The most happy moment in Macau is when the moment I can meet Vincent. Vincent is my man. I had known him for bout 3 years. He stayed in Hong Kong. I can feel the happiness whenever we meet up. Times goes quite fast here. As the times goes by, I had done my best efford to get to used in these place. It was hard for me cos this was the first time I stayed apart from my family.
At my working place, we have a lot of collegues here. Most of them came from China. A lot of them are so nice. Although I had a lot of collegues here, but not all of them can be my true friend. Angela a collegue of mine that had a funny and caring personality really impress me. Our relations develops well and we get to know each others so much. She was a special girl. I love her so much. Other than Angela, I get along with Luz and Joe also. Luz is pretty quiet girl. Although sometimes she like to tease me, but I know she had a kind personality. Anyhow, she is my new roomate now. Hopefully we had a good relationship as a new roomate.
I happenned to had my own friend after few months later. Life seems "OK" now, but in my career wise, I do not see any future here unless just on money wise only. My main concern now will be either I am going to stay here or go back to persue my career in Malaysia? I need some comment from you guys. Help Me!!!

Working in Macau......

In our life, we can't escape from doing any kind of "DECISION". No matter whatever that happen in our life, we still need to do the best decision so that we can get the best result in our life. I am so weak on making decision. I really can't make up my mind easily for every single thing that happen on me. The things as simple as want to get a place to eat, also have to seek a lot of people's opinion. Sometimes I feel that I am too weak on manage my own life. I am a weak "DECISION MAKER".
On Oct 2007, I got a call from Addecco informed me that I had successfully getting the offer from Venetian Macau Hotel. I was so excited on the moment. After a while I started to think if I really should take this offer??? I had been struggle for few days, but at last I do take this offer too. After landed in Macau on Nov 2007, I think that I should give myself a chance to try in Macau.

my 1st blog

This is my first blog. I have go thru some of my friend's blog. I found out it was quite intrested. So, I had decided to make one for my own. As a human being, definately we need a place to express our feeling, so this will be the place that I can express my feeling. This is definately an "open secret"........